So the past few weeks have been pretty rough. It’ll all be over, soon, hopefully. Today was our last project portfolio class for the term, so that’s something off my back. Tomorrow will be our last career prep class, so that’s pretty exciting. Our projects are due tomorrow, but … ah, six hours of career prep. That’s crazy long! Today we had compositing, our cg spaceship on live footage was supposed to be due… but it got pushed back cos no one had it done. Haha. What else is due soon? Oh. XSI! Bah… I have a lot of work to do. All my friends are starting to get off school for summer… or they’re coming back for summer and I still can’t say no to coffee nights, or whatnot.

Crappy for me, but I couldn’t say NO when my friend already bought me a ticket for a charity banquet on Sunday. I seriously needed that Sunday to do all of my work. I am getting my ass dragged to that banquet, I don’t even want to go that badly. I wouldn’t mind… going as much if I didn’t have a lot of work to do. Yes. School comes first? I know why I can’t say no, it’s because I can’t stand missing out. I don’t like missing out on anything!

I just need to stick it through for the next few weeks, then hopefully the workload will start to lessen. I have my hopes up. Oh. Shoot. My relatives are all starting to come and stay over for a while. Right now, my room is the only place in the house I can stay in without any distractions (actually, there’s quite a few … but I’m resisting). Usually, I have the office all to myself too…  bah. So sad, so sad!

I’ve finally settled with a demo reel idea. It’s not the best, but I think I’m going to have to stick with it, just because I have a little less than 6 months to work on my demo reel. If you’ve known me for a long time, you’re probably going to say that it’s very predictable that I’d do a beach themed demo reel. I just love beaches. I love painting beaches? I have one painting, in my room right now actually that I’m looking at… and wow. It needs so much work. I don’t even remember what my original ideas were for it, but Im definitely going to have to add more onto it. Sadly, it’s incomplete but framed. It was supposed to go in an art gallery for my school art show, … but I never finished. They still framed it though. … which is nice? I guess? I visited my old high school last week, my art teacher wants to see what I’ve done in 3D… I just laughed when she asked me to show my work to her. HA-HA.

Wow. So we’re a little more than half way through the year. That’s kind of scary because I really need to start working on my demo reel. Industry night was last week. It was pretty cool. Everyone did a kick ass job, I think. I’ll miss bugging some of the grads, especially when I’m bored. Haha.

Hmm…our XSI assignment is due on Thursday. I went to school today and yesterday to work on it, but …haha… I barely got anything done. Horrible. I’ll get it done, I swear. Our character model sheet is due on Thursday too, actually I have been working on that. … but agh I have to get my proportions right. What else, what else is due soon? Oh! Our project for career prep is due soon, so I got to start on that too. Bah. Lots of work to do!

I’ve been meaning to get my sketchbook from high school since September (everything I’ve done is in there!) I never really got around to that. Hopefully, it’s still there when I go visit on Friday. I doubt it though. I want to start painting again, but I don’t have the time. I should make time for it, because I have so many unfinished paintings from high school! Yeah, I’m such a slow painter… sometimes I can be a perfectionist? I remember one time I painted one part of my painting like at least five times because I either ran out of the colour (and couldn’t get the right shade again) or I didn’t like the colour. Yeah, my friend was annoyed at me for that. Pft, not like it was her painting anyway, right? I guess she got sick of watching me paint the same thing over and over again. Sad to say, but I threw away some of my old paintings from high school. Sigh. I regret doing that. I wasn’t thinking back then. I remember even using one painting, that I worked my ass off for by the way, as an umbrella (I was really pissed because I didn’t realize what I was doing… I was pretty sleep deprived at the time so I had no clue as to what I was doing). Yeah, I was really pissed off at myself for that.

I finally got a wacom tablet and pen. It’s actually fun. I’m starting to get hooked onto it.

Anyway, once again, I went to the mall almost every day last week. I was so stressed out. So… retail therapy?I need to find a better way to handle stress! My head was all over the place at work, on Saturday, my coworker and customers (the regulars) said straight up that I was a mess. Haha, losing my  composure? Don’t I always? Sometimes stress affects my mood, it did, but I think … I’m not going to let the workload get to me. I’m just gonna go with whatever I have.

So things haven’t been all that great for me, hopefully it’ll get better soon. This is the third time I’ve been sick ever since this program started. This really sucks. What the hell? I’m really pissed off. I just got sick right before the break ended too. Oh yeah! I lost my USB, so yeah, that really sucks. I didn’t really have anything that important in it.

Okay. I’ve been slacking off a lot. Yeah. I have a lot to do though.

I have a lot to do in XSI –I got to paint and constrain my mercenary character and grey block and bah, I don’t even want to think about it. It’ll drive me crazy.

BAH. I dont want to think about school right now. I think I’m still in break mode. I went to work everyday during the break though, I think I mentioned that before. Yeha, I wore myself out pretty badly.

I have to think about my demo reel for project portfolio… honestly, I don’t have an idea yet. Yeah. I’m pretty screwed. I know at this point I should have something. I’ll figure something out. I kinda do have something figured out, but … eh. I’d change it, if something else better comes up.

So I almost forgot my portable harddrive at school today. My ass was saved. Thank you.

 My sister’s weddding is coming up soon. Time to stay at school 24/7 because I’m pretty sure I can’t get any work done at home once the visitors come over and stay. That’s okay. I’m excited to see them. I guess. Oh crap. I have to help her with her wedding video whatever though.. by her wedding day. Then I have to go for dress fitting and shoe/jewelry shopping… ah! It’s supposed to be good times, I’m not supposed to be so stressed out!

Anyway, I really need to start working on my character sheet. Tomorrow.

I don’t remember if we’re supposed to blog over the break, so I’m going to… just in case.

Uh. I’ve been working a lot (not on school stuff). I havent started on my previs yet, damn… I’ll do that after. Haha. I’m exhausted. I can’t even find the energy to do anything anymore. Yeah, I think going to work all day… is actually killing me. That’s okay. I have Friday and Monday off.

So last week, I pulled an all-nighter at school. I felt like shit the next day. I kind of learned my lesson on leaving big projects last minute though.

Last week was also the open house, yeah, that was pretty neat.

I need to seriously catch up on my sleep. I’m going crazy. Gah. I am starting to become pissy again, it happens when I’m really sleep deprived. I hate that. I don’t even feel like completing my sentences or even words when I’m tired (dupy. Ha-ha. Funny.)

Anyway, time to focus on school. Uh huh, uh huh, uh huh.

So today in career prep we took the Myers Briggs test. Apparently, I’m an extrovert. Surprise, surprise! When I took that back in high school,  I swear I was an introvert. Actually, even in elementary school I was really, really shy. I can still be shy. I know that it’s probably hard to believe that I was shy, because I’m so loud now. Believe me, I know there’s still a shy Melissa in me…

Ummm… so, I’m kind of starting to slack off. Well, actually, I was working on my XSI stuff today after class. I’m just taking my sweet ass time with my Maya stuff. It’s due tomorrow though… boo. I have all day to work on it tomorrow though.

I have work on Monday… I was going to devote that whole entire day to my texturing assignment. That’s okay, I’ll probably head to school after work on Sunday … I don’t really feel like going out for dinner with my family this weekend. I have too much work to do! I am so behind on XSI. Agh!

Oh! So… we were assigned a project today in career prep. I’m in a group with Mona and Elizabeth. I belieeeve we’re doing sexism in video games. Yeah. That’s a neat idea.

So today I had my practice interview with Val. I messed up on one of the questions… it came out wrong! Ahh. And then I messed up at the end too, when she asked if I had any questions. I was so close to saying NO when I realized we werent supposed to. Anyway, I still messed up on that. That’s okay!

Half way through the program… crazy. After this program, I think I’m heading off to the Philippines for a while. I’m stoked for that. I haven’t been back to the Philippines since… I was 14. That’s 5 years now! I can’t wait to go to the beaches there are soo pretty. Really!

I feel really bloated right now, I don’t even remember what I had for dinner… Weird.

I need to go shopping for spring/summer clothes. Well, I don’t need to… but I want to. Oh! April… in two weeks, we’re getting our break. Awesome. I’m excited for that too, but ugh… crap, it takes a while for me to get focused and be completely into this program… hopefully that week off doesn’t change me into a slacker again. That’d probably drive me crazy.

Truth be told, I was actually starting to doubt myself. I was going through a phase. For a while, I just wanted to give up on digital animation. I was thinking that this program is so not for me.  I just wanted to quit the program for life. Yeah, I was totally losing faith in myself. It might have been the stress getting to me. I am so worn out. I’ve actually never worked or cared about school as much as I do now… in my whole entire life. Seriously. Haha! So maybe… I’m just not used to working this hard (and I’m actually letting go *sort of* my social life for this program! Wow!) Haha! Back in high school, I was like… whatever, man. I don’t give a crap. I was probably the biggest slacker ever. I’d have tons of sick days… and whatnot. My friends see me now and they’re all like …you’re always at school. You never come out with us anymore. You never skip class. We do it all the time–We’ve turned into  you in high school.  I’ve changed. A lot… I’ve gone from a big slacker to a hard worker.

No worries…. I’m back to liking my program again. I’m not going to let the stress get to me, ever again (hah! I say that now… but I know it will happen again.) It finally doesn’t kill me to stay at school after class or during my 7 hour gap anymore. I guess I can thank Mona for getting me… started on staying at school. Haha. She’d be like… so are you staying? No. Why? Cos I don’t want to. What are you doing after? Nothing. ….*thinks* OKAY. FINE. I’LL STAY. Dammit Mona.

Anyway, since I’m so broke…. and I’m really stressed out, I can’t resort to retail therapy. SOOO… I’ve been really giddy lately. I’ll laugh my ass off at anything… pretty much.

Back to working on my Maya… face. I’m actually… taking a break right now from the face. …but since my blog entry is almost finished, I guess I’ll work on it again. I actually am enjoying character… face modeling. I think. It’s fun. Yay… so fun. So fun!

I have work tomorrow. Early. I am too excited. No really, I am. I LOVE to work. I spent my last two summers working my ass off… only to bust all that earned in 6 months. Talk about spending issues. Someone needs to handle their money better.

“Although you were biased I love your advice
Your comebacks they’re quick and probably have to do with your insecurities
There’s no shame in being crazy, depending on how you take these words
I’m paraphrasing this relationship we’re staging”

I love music. It totally mellows me out, especially when I’m having such a bad day. I haven’t ever really had a bad day, in a long time. There’s always something at the end of the day that cheers me up.

 I was supposed to go to work to do food orders for my mother because she went to a seminar. I was going to do the food orders, then leave and do my assignments.

What ended up happening: I went to work. Had to stay all afternoon –one of my coworkers didn’t show up to work, so I took her shift. I didn’t get a chance to work on my assignments.

Work was just hell. I’m not even kidding you. Everything was a huge mess. Due to my carelessness, I blended a drink without the top on. I guess you know what happens after that. My coworker brews a pot of coffee, but somehow it overflows? I think you get the picture. It was just a huge disaster.

So on my way home, I guess I was totally out of it by then. I was coming out of Highway 99…  So I guess I didn’t step on my brakes hard enough, because I rear ended someone (but his car was fine, my car was fine. No damages! No info exchanged. S’all good!)

So digital animation… in career prep class we watched a video on how to do well during an interview. It was pretty helpful. Tomorrow, I’ve got a full day. I’m staying at school all day from 9-10 (because I have a ton of assignments to complete). I’ve got animation class in the morning, then design class in the evening. Saturday… OH CRUD. I forgot I have a matte painting due for texturing. Tuesday, I’ve got my storyboarding assignment due… and Wednesday… I’ve got my cover letter and research assignment due. Crazy, baby! Mmm. So we’re doing patch head modeling for design class. It took me one hell of a long time to find reference pictures. I don’t even know who the person is I’m modeling… but hey, as long as I have a front shot and a side shot, I’m alright. So… I know now, for a fact, that I like modeling environments… more than characters. I really don’t like modeling characters. I don’t like drawing characters either. I love painting and drawing environments though… I still don’t know what type of environment I should do for my demo reel. I was thinking of something by the beach (I loveee beaches. Everything I drew and painted in high school… was beach related. HAHA. Too attached, I guess!) …I really don’t know. Ahh! I need to know soon! …Bah.

Anyway, I’m still hoping that my day will get better. I don’t want it to end on a bad note.

I’m sick. I hate being sick. I have no energy to do anything at all. I was making fun of my cousin for being sick a few weeks ago though. Mean, I know.  Anyway, I guess that’s karma for you.

So, I somehow managed to keep my sanity this week with all my assignments due. This week, it’s a little bit better…actually…not really. I keep thinking about my texturing project …. my mind won’t rest until I hand it in. I can’t wait, really, until texturing is over. It’s not because I don’t like the course, but just because it’ll really take away so much stress off my back and I’ll stop worrying about it. I’m really good at worrying (about everything), I’ve been told.

So in design class today, we had to model a face. …Uh. I need a lot of practice on that.

All my classes, everything is being assigned at the same time and everything is due in two weeks! Week… 6, I believe. AGH. I wouldn’t mind having assignments assigned every class, but when they’re all due at the same time… it drives me crazy!  That’s okay, I have awesome time management skills. Not really.

So… I tend to laugh when I’m screwed, because… I just do. So… HAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I need to stop procrastinating/make life hell for myself. Really.

So tomorrow…before production class, I’m going to do my proj/port and career prep homework (and I’m doing it now too!) …and then from Saturday to Monday, I’ll work on my junkyard and character’s face. Hopefully, I stick to my plan. Busy, busy, busy.

My friend is visiting, like I mentioned before, from out of town. I’m supposed to meet up with her and a few other friends tomorrow night. It totally sucks though, because I have a class from 7-10 tomorrow. What a buzzkill. I think I’m going to be too tired to go out after too. I’ll see, whatever happens happens. Oh! I’m finally 19. Hooray. But… I haven’t had the time to go out with my friends to celebrate it yet. Bummer. I’m swamped with assignments and so are they.

Anyway, back to talking about animation… next week, we’re modeling ears? Our teacher says it’s hard. I’m not going to doubt him. So far, character modeling is alright for me, I guess. I still prefer environment modeling though.

I’m tired. I’m going to go to bed now.

My sister’s wedding is, a little less than, four months away. Crazy. I’m happy for her. Her fiance is a really sweet, funny, and nice guy. He stayed for a month at our house, while he was on vacation, in February. I have to make them a wedding video. I don’t have the time to! I don’t even have time to see my friends! But… I’ll make time, for my sister, even though she can be a bit mean to me sometimes! Maybe I’ll do it during my break in April. Good timing. My relatives –literally, all my aunts, uncles, cousins, nephews, and nieces on my dad’s side — from the Philippines are visiting in May. My dad has a huge family. Time to stay at school 24/7. Don’t get me wrong, I really want to meet and see them again… but I have a feeling I’m going to be busy with school.

My birthday is next week! March 12. I’m turning 19. Hooray! I’m pretty excited about that. I’m going to go out for dinner with my close friends.

One of my close high school friends is coming to Vancouver for a week. She’s coming from Atlanta. I’m excited, really, I haven’t seen her or spoken to her in ages.

So I finally have my model sheet -I chose to do Elmyra from Tiny Toons. I’m kind of bummed I didn’t find a Lilo model sheet. The hands look somewhat tricky though. I was actually thinking of changing my character, but I think it’s too late for that. Way too late. So… I’m gonna stick through it. We can re-do our assignments, anyway. Maybe I’ll improve my character modeling skills by the end of the term.

Ugh. I have so many things due for school next week! It’s crazy! Let’s see, I have my 3D character, junkyard, proj/portfolio, and resume all due next week! I can’t wait for the break in April.

A few weeks ago, our 3D design teacher showed us a trailer of the new Dr. Seuss movie (Horton Hears a Who). I kinda wanna see it. I think it’s cute.

What else can I say? Hm… Oh. I think my lighting skills suck. Yeah, I definitely need a lot of work with that. I like texturing though, it’s cool. I like modeling too. I don’t really like character rigging though. It gets too blaaah for my liking, sometimes.

I still have to look for a character model sheet. I will do that later, after my shower and nap. I just got home about an hour ago from school. We learned how to make better resumes. Awesome! It’s about time I updated my resume, it is pretty outdated and it has so much useless information.

Anyway, for my character, I was thinking of modeling Lilo from Lilo and Stitch. I just can’t seem to find a model sheet yet, but maybe I just wasn’t looking hard enough last night.

I’m exhausted. I woke up relatively early (6:45 a.m.) and got to school at around 8:00. I planned to work on my XSI character rigging. I finished, but I had no idea how to mirror weights. It was so frustrating because I went to school early to do just that. Anyway, I just weighted both sides of my character. Time consuming, very, I know. I’ll ask around for my next character, I suppose.

I’ve been thinking about my demo reel a lot lately and every time I think about it, I change my mind and new ideas keep popping into my head. I know, for sure, I want to create a modeling and texturing demo reel –I would model interior and exterior environments. Maybe I’ll change my mind later on in the term, I’ll see how character modeling goes.  

School work’s starting to build up again. Agh. I’m going to start working after my nap, I swear! The stress gets to me! I become slightly irritable. Term one just ended a few weeks ago and thats when all my projects and assignments were due. Now there’s new ones! Bah.

By blogging right now, I feel slightly better (I have one assignment out of the way!) This is a great way for me to de-stress… just let it all out (and it’s saving me money. Usually, when I’m super stressed, I spend a lot of money. A lot. …then I go for a run.)

I really, really miss my car. I can’t wait until I get it back! It’s getting fixed. Again. For the … third time? (To be honest with you, I’ve lost count. All I know is, it has been almost three months since my car has been going back and forth to the body shop and with me.) Ugh. There’s something wrong with the engine! Or so they say. I don’t know. I don’t really know much about cars. They said I’d get my car back in a couple of days. Hopefully, this time when it comes back to me, it’s problem free.

Okay, time for my nap! I get cranky without it. Hah. What a baby.